Holidays with Lupin
by Nalbyismylife
Summary: During Harry's fifth year, Sirius is still on the run and Lupin is still teaching at Hogwarts. He invites Harry to spend the holidays with him at the school and they grow close. Harry/Lupin SLASH. Set during Order of the Phoenix.


Christmas at Hogwarts was rapidly approaching. This was Harry's fifth Christmas at Hogwarts and he was looking forward to this one especially because he was going to spend it with Lupin - and okay, maybe he was looking forward to it because he had a crush on Professor Lupin, but only a small one! And that was only part of the reason why he was so excited. The other part was Christmas in general.

Hermione and Ron would both be leaving this year, because Charlie and Bill were going to Ron's house for the holidays. Ron had invited Harry, but Harry had declined, because Lupin was staying at Hogwarts and had invited Harry to spend Christmas with him. Harry was staying with Lupin in his rooms during break, and he was ecstatic to have alone time with the man.

Three days before Christmas Eve, Harry arrived at Lupin's rooms after classes. "Password?" asked the young woman sitting at the piano in the portrait on Lupin's door.

"Um..."

"Can't enter without the password, dear," the woman said, as if it wasn't obvious.

"Yeah, I know," Harry said, annoyed. Just then the door swung open, revealing Lupin in a gray sweatshirt and jeans. His hair was slightly messed up and he was wearing reading glasses. Beautiful.

"Don't mind her, Harry," Lupin told him, offering Harry that warm smile that Harry had fallen in love with. "Come in."

Lupin's rooms were small but nice. There was a fireplace in the living room, where a small fire now crackled. "You can put your stuff in here," Lupin said as Harry followed him into a bedroom. "I'm afraid I don't have a guest room and the couch isn't nearly big enough, so you'll be staying in here with me."

"You mean - I'll be sleeping in your bed? With you?" Harry asked. "Professor," he added.

Lupin blushed and turned away as Harry set his stuff down on the carpet. "Yes," Lupin answered. "If it makes you uncomfortable, I can always-"

"No, no," Harry assured him quickly. "It's no problem at all, Professor Lupin." Well, it wasn't a lie.

"Call me Remus," Lupin said.

"What?" Harry asked dumbly.

Lupin put his hands in his jean pockets and smiled warmly at him. "It will be odd living and sleeping together while calling me Professor Lupin, don't you think?"

Now it was Harry's turn to blush. "Oh, yeah," he agreed, "definitely, Prof - I mean, Remus."

Lupin chuckled. "Going to take some getting used to?" asked he.

"Yes, Professor."

This time, Harry didn't catch himself, but Lupin's laughter that followed was worth the blush that crept onto Harry's face.

* * *

><p>Lupin and Harry spent the evening together playing wizard's chess. Having been playing the game for a lot longer, Lupin showed Harry some new tricks that Harry hadn't yet picked up. "Now you can beat your friends," Lupin told him.<p>

"Thanks," Harry said brightly, excited for the end of the holidays so he could beat the pants off Ron and Seamus. "Ron and Seamus always beat me," Harry informed Lupin.

"You _are_ fairly easy to beat," Lupin commented, smiling.

"I am not!" Harry insisted. "_You_ try playing with Neville - he's even easier to beat."

"_Even_ easier? So you admit you're easy to beat," Lupin teased.

"Oh, shut it," Harry laughed.

Lupin had a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "I would advise not telling your professor to shut it," he chuckled.

"Yeah?" Harry wanted to know, and crawled across the chess board and into Lupin's lap. "And what'll you do if I-" he started, but he didn't have time to finish before there was a knock on the door.

"I'll get it," Harry offered, and jumped off Lupin's lap to answer the door. "Oh, hello Professor Dumbledore."

"Albus?" Lupin stood and went over to the door to stand behind Harry. "Is everything all right?"

"Everything is just fine, Remus," assured Dumbledore. "Severus has just informed me that your potion is nearly done," he said with a glance at Harry.

"Thank you, Albus," Lupin said. "And pass on my thanks to Severus." Dumbledore nodded and Lupin closed the door behind him.

Harry stared at Lupin curiously. "Your Wolfsbane Potion?"

"Yes." Lupin nodded.

* * *

><p>Snape arrived with Lupin's potion a few hours later, while Lupin and Harry were eating dinner. After their meal of chicken and potatoes, Lupin helped Harry with the Charms homework he had been given over the holidays and also the DADA homework Lupin had assigned him. Harry showered then and stayed up late reading in front of the fire. When the fire died, he went into Lupin's bedroom to find the man also reading with his bedside light on.<p>

"Good book?" Harry asked, climbing into bed beside Lupin.

"Very good," Lupin answered. He smiled at Harry and put his bookmark in the book he'd been reading, then closed it and put it on his bedside table. The light clicked off and it was very dark as Harry settled down under the blankets.

The room was quiet, and Harry lay there longing to be held by Lupin more than anything else. Harry spent a few minutes gathering his courage before he spoke.

"P - Remus, are you awake?" he asked.

"Yes," the man answered.

"I want to be close to you," Harry informed him, glad for the dark so Lupin couldn't see his blush.

Lupin chuckled. "Come here, then." Harry smiled and felt around for Lupin and earned himself an, "Ouch!" from his professor. He'd smacked the man in the face with his hand.

"Sorry, professor. I mean, Remus," he quickly corrected himself. He still hadn't broken the habit yet. Lupin pulled him close and Harry snuggled against him, sighing in content. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so happy. Harry fell asleep quickly with his head on Lupin's chest.

* * *

><p>Harry got the best night's sleep he'd gotten in ages, and woke up without Lupin's arms around him. Harry got up to find him cooking breakfast for the two of them, and Lupin smiled warmly at Harry when he saw that he was awake. "Sleep well?" Lupin asked him.<p>

"Never better," Harry said cheerfully, going over to Lupin and hugging him. Lupin chuckled and hugged him back tightly, and Harry felt Lupin's arms wrap around his waist. "You're great, Remus."

"I appreciate that, Harry," Lupin answered. A moment of silence, and then Lupin said, "The eggs." Not a second later, the smell of burnt eggs reached Harry's nose. Lupin sighed and released Harry to dump the burnt eggs in the trash.

"Whoops," Harry said.

"It's not a big deal," Lupin said. "I'll just make more." He cracked two more eggs into the pan and began frying them. Harry grinned and wrapped his arms around Lupin from behind him, and Lupin let out a choke of laughter. "Harry, stop distracting me!" he laughed.

"Oh, _Remus,"_ Harry sighed dramatically, laughing so hard tears came to his eyes. "I adore you _so much,_ Remus." They were joking around, but little did Lupin know how very true it was.

This time, Lupin remembered the eggs _before_ they got burnt, and at breakfast, he said, "I have to go to Hogsmeade today to get a couple of things," Lupin informed him. "Care to join me?"

"Yeah!" exclaimed Harry, delighted. He began eating his breakfast faster, eager to leave.

This earned more laughter from Lupin. Harry was happy that he could make Lupin laugh like that - still, he felt himself blushing. "We're not leaving just yet, Harry," Lupin informed him. "Enjoy your breakfast."

Harry did, and then read for a while, and by then Lupin was ready to go. The train to Hogsmeade was fairly empty when Harry and Lupin chose a compartment together. Harry fell asleep on the seat, his head in Lupin's lap, and he dozed with Lupin stroking his hair gently. When they got off the train, Lupin said, "I will need to go in the bookstore, Harry."

Eagerly, Harry joined him, wanting to buy a Christmas present for Hermione. He picked out _The Complete History of Magic _- Hermione would love it, that was her favorite subject - and he couldn't think of a particular book that Lupin would like. He decided to buy Lupin's present somewhere else.

While Lupin was still browsing books, Harry snuck out without his professor noticing and passed a jewelry store. A particular pendant caught his eye in the window as he passed, a gold sun dangling from a gold chain. He remembered that day in class where Lupin jumped in front of Harry as he faced the Boggart, and Lupin's worst fear was the moon. If Lupin was afraid of the moon, maybe the sun would be just what he needed.

Harry went into the store and went up to the counter. "How much is that gold pendant with the sun in the window?" he asked.

"Seven Galleons and eight Sickles," the lady behind the counter replied.

_Geez_, thought Harry. Still, he bought it for Lupin, hoping he would like it. He put the smaller bag with the pendant in the larger bag with Hermione's book, so Lupin wouldn't see it and ask questions.

Harry arrived back at the bookstore just as Lupin was walking out. "Where've you been?" Lupin asked him, smiling fondly at him.

"Er - just at Fred and George's shop," Harry lied.

Lupin raised an eyebrow. "Well, I ran into Severus in the bookstore," he informed Harry.

"Fun," Harry replied sarcastically. "And how is the-" He paused at Lupin's reprimanding look. "-wonderful professor who cares a great deal for me and most definitely does _not_ hate my guts."

"Severus has no reason to hate you," said Lupin.

"My point exactly," Harry agreed.

* * *

><p>After that, Harry and Lupin went to The Three Broomsticks for a butterbeer. By the time they left Hogsmeade, it was getting dark, and it was completely dark by the time they returned to Hogwarts. Lupin practically half-dragged, half-carried Harry to his rooms, and when they arrived back, Lupin scooped Harry up in his arms, who squealed and wrapped his arms around the man's neck as he was carried to Lupin's room. Lupin dropped him on the bed, laughing. "What was that for?" Harry demanded, giggling and then yawning.<p>

"For failing to walk yourself," teased Lupin, who got into bed beside Harry. Harry scooted closer to Lupin and wrapped his arms around the man's neck, yawning hugely.

"I love you, Remus." The words slipped out before Harry could stop them, but thankfully, Lupin didn't seem uncomfortable or angry or anything of the sort. Thank Merlin.

"I love you very much, Harry." Lupin kissed his hair and moments later, Harry was asleep with his head on the man's chest.

* * *

><p>Christmas Eve came with a blanket of snow to offer for Hogwarts. When Harry awoke the next morning - this time with Lupin's arms still around him - he quietly slipped out of bed and went to the window. "Snow!" Harry exclaimed. "Remus! Remus, wake up! There's snow!" Harry ran back over to the bed and shook Lupin until his professor woke up.<p>

"What happened?" Lupin mumbled sleepily.

"Snow!" Harry summarized in one word. "Let's go outside!"

After Lupin woke and had a cup of coffee, Harry eagerly followed him outside. It was freezing, and even wrapped up in about four layers of clothes and two layers of warm, fuzzy socks and boots, Harry was still cold. "C-C-C-Cold," Harry said. The snow was lightly falling now, but it was sticking.

And then Harry felt something wet and cold hit him. He whirled around to find Lupin smiling at him, a glint of mischief in his eyes. "You threw a snowball at me!" accused Harry.

"Me?" said Lupin innocently. "I'm just standing here." Not a second later, Lupin earned a snowball in his face. "Get back here, you immature child!" Lupin laughed, chasing after Harry.

"You started it!" Harry reminded him as he was chased around the snowy lawn, both of them laughing.

A moment later, he felt Lupin's strong arms wrap around his waist. "I got you," Lupin chuckled, holding Harry tightly in his grasp.

Harry smiled and turned around, his emerald gaze meeting Lupin's amber one. "And what are you going to do with me now?" he wanted to know, his face numb from the cold, but he didn't care. They were inches apart and Harry gasped silently when he realized how close they were. He found himself wanting be closer yet to Lupin. He gathered his courage and leaned in, pressing his lips against Lupin's. Lupin held him close, his soft lips brushing against Harry's. Harry whimpered and wrapped his arms around Lupin's neck, pulling him closer so that their bodies rested together.

And then Lupin pulled away, leaving Harry wanting more, needing more, craving more. "I can't do this, Harry," said Lupin.

"Please, Remus," Harry begged. "Kiss me."

Their lips met again in a deep kiss and there were tears in Lupin's amber eyes when he pulled away. "Harry," Lupin said. "This...this can't happen between us." Harry's vision blurred with tears and he felt the salty water rolling down his cheeks. "Harry," Lupin sighed, but Harry turned and ran.

* * *

><p>Harry ran straight for Gryffindor Tower. No other Gryffindor students had stayed during the holidays, and he lit a fire before collapsing in front of it, taking off his boots, his jacket, and a warm sweater. He buried his face in his lap and cried.<p>

No doubt he had ruined his relationship with Lupin. What had Harry been _thinking_? Lupin was his _professor_. His thirty five year old professor. Harry had kissed a man twenty three years older than him.

Stupid, to say the least.

"Harry." He jumped at Lupin's gentle voice, but didn't lift his head. He couldn't even look at the man, he was so embarrassed. "Harry, look at me."

Harry forced himself to look up at his professor. Lupin wiped Harry's tears away, and his own. "You know I love you."

Next thing Harry knew, they were kissing. Harry wasn't sure who kissed who, but he prayed Lupin wouldn't stop, and he didn't. Harry couldn't stop kissing Lupin and he kissed all over Lupin's face, the man's laughter that followed warming his heart. Harry wrapped his arms around Lupin's neck and Lupin picked Harry up and carried him to the four-poster bed waiting upstairs in the dormitory. He threw Harry down on the bed - playfully - and Harry giggled and pulled Lupin down with him, kissing him deeply.

"Harry, we have to stop," Lupin said, pulling away.

"I don't want to stop," Harry said, pulling Lupin down for another kiss.

"I don't want to either, Harry," Lupin admitted. "But we have to. Your parents would kill me. Sirius would kill me."

"Sirius isn't here," Harry pointed out, "and neither are my parents."

"Harry, I could spend the rest of the day naming people who would love to have a nice werewolf fur coat," Lupin joked. "You're fifteen. You're too young, and-"

"I'm old enough to make my own decisions," Harry argued. "I'm not a child, Remus!"

"Yes, you are," Lupin said.

"I'm going to be fighting Voldemort," Harry countered, "which is something most children don't do."

"Frankly, I don't think you should be doing that, either," Lupin said. "You're too young."

That pissed Harry off. "I didn't _ask_ to fight Voldemort!" Harry yelled. "I didn't ask for any of this! I don't _want_ to be a part of the Order, I don't want to fight Voldemort! But I'm going to join the Order because Sirius thinks it's a good idea and he doesn't think I'm a child." Harry shoved Lupin off of him and stormed away. He went back to Lupin's rooms and had just closed the door behind him before the tears started. Lupin had called him a child. He didn't have faith in Harry, like Harry thought he did. Did he even really know Lupin?

The door opened and Harry stiffened. "Piss off," he said, knowing it was Lupin.

"Harry," Lupin said gently, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Harry turned and glared at Lupin. "You don't have faith in me," he said. "I thought you did. I thought I _knew_ you."

"Harry...of _course_ I have faith in you," Lupin said, his eyes filled with tears. "How could I not? You are such a strong person, Harry, I can't imagine going through everything you've gone. I think I'd go mad."

Harry's anger lessened at the compliment, and he felt embarrassed for how he had acted towards the man he loved. "I'm sorry I told you to piss off," he apologized.

"Come here," Lupin said softly, pulling Harry into a hug. They stood there like that for a long time, holding each other.

"I love you, Remus," Harry said, his voice muffled in Lupin's shirt.

"I love you very much, Harry," the man replied.

* * *

><p>Harry and Lupin spent the next few hours in bed together. Not like that, but just cuddling and talking and kissing. Whenever they were kissing and Lupin thought things were going too far, he would tell Harry, and there was no more discussing the matter.<p>

Harey enjoyed spending time with Lupin so much. "Remus," he said at one point, lifting his head to look at his teacher. "I don't want the holidays to end. Then I have to go back to Gryffindor Tower."

Lupin smiled, his eyes sparkling with love. "Harry, that's so sweet," he said, kissing Harry softly.

"Can I stay here and live with you?" Harry asked. "Please?"

Lupin chuckled. "I would love that, Harry, but you have to go live in the dorm and socialize with your friends." Harry cuddled the man closer. "You can always come visit me, though."

Harry smiled brightly. "I would love that," he agreed, and their lips met again.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: End of Chapter One! Hope you guys liked it :) Next chapter will be Christmas so keep your eyes open for an update. Will update soon <strong>


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